'Things Seen & Heard' (15)

Director: Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini

Cast: Amanda Seyfried, James Norton, Natalia Dyer, F. Murray Abraham

Where can I watch?: Things Seen & Heard is streaming on Netflix

Rating: 3/5

Review: You know the story: middle class white family swap their happy city lifestyle for a dilapidated, slightly creepy house in the depths of the countryside. Of course, the house has a gory history, but the overly-enthusiastic husband convinces his sceptical wife that all will be well... Until it isn't. Admittedly, Things Seen & Heard, adapted from Elizabeth Brundage's novel All Things Cease to Appear, isn't even remotely original and, when it does attempt to throw some additional ingredients into the mix, the narrative becomes something of an uneven, overstuffed mess. Indeed, there is so much going on here that many of the more interesting topics barely get a look in, while some reveals tip the scale from highly unbelievable to downright absurd - you'll know the moment when you see it.

It's hard to write about the premise without giving too much away, but the trailer does reveal some of the key plot points, so I feel safe enough in mentioning the presence of the ghost and George's (James Norton) infidelity. In fact, hubby George is quite the scumbag (in more ways that you could possibly imagine from the outset!) to wide-eyed Catherine (a rather excellent Amanda Seyfried), who is battling demons both psychological and metaphysical. Being a 'haunted house' film, there are several tropes that have to be crossed off the list, so expect flickering lights, toppling chairs, white noise on the radio and spooky faces in doorways. But it soon becomes obvious that these typically creepy characteristics are an indication, a warning, of something else brewing within the house - or is it the central relationship itself? Being a scaredy cat, I found some of the horror elements to be quite terrifying (cue the cushion), but my partner assured me that it wasn't at all scary, so if you're even slightly brave, you'll probably find the conventionally creepy moments fine. Ladies, however, may find themselves sleeping with one eye open for a while after, and not because of the ghost... 

A Must-Watch?: There's a lot going on here, and I mean a lot: we've got an eating disorder; infidelity; murder; domestic abuse; ghosts; philosophy; art history; and a serious case of fraud. Such is the wealth of things going on that it feels as though the story would work better as a mini series, in which the huge revelations could be slightly more spread out to avoid the mounting absurdity of the whole thing. That said, there are a couple of good scares and the cast throw themselves into their roles with gusto, plus there's plenty of interesting, if not quite fulfilled, ideas. The verdict? Worth a watch. 

SPOILERS BELOW - DON'T READ FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FILM

OK, I'm including this bit because I have many questions that were never answered and I need to rant about them. 

Firstly, how could Catherine not know that her husband was a very bad man? Surely she would have met his parents before and some of those telling 'facts' about his past would have come out? Also, why didn't the ghost save Catherine? She was literally right there and appeared to be guiding Catherine to safety, only to disappear at the crucial moment? Several times, it's hinted that there's another presence in the house, but it's never fully explained. Can George sense the other presence? Or did he bring it with him? Similarly, is this a feminist film? At times, it appears to be a story about women looking out for other women, but then comeuppance is dealt without any female involvement! Gah!