Skip to main content

COVID-19 Special: 'Godzilla vs. Kong' (PG)



Director: Adam Wingard

Cast: Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry

Where can I watch?: Godzilla vs. Kong is streaming on Apple TV. 

Rating: 2/5

Review: Do you like your apes oversized and your lizards fire-breathing (I know it's not fire, die hard fans!)? Have you always wanted to see big things punch each other repeatedly thanks to the latest in CGI technology? Are you looking for a film that will make you think, 'this is dross' but renders you unable to look away? My friend, Godzilla vs. Kong is the movie for you. There's no point in trying to explain the plot, because there isn't one to describe beyond ape hits lizard, lizard hits ape, people scream and run. However, for all the repetitiveness of these giant creatures hitting each other and roaring, it's far better than enduring the shocking dialogue between the wholly one-dimensional human characters who appear to be there for no reason other than to stand around with their mouths open and get emotional at varying points. Honestly, I know viewers aren't watching Godzilla vs. Kong for Sorkin-esque interactions, but the disjointed drivel that constitutes 'conversation' in this film is simply dire. And there's not just one group of useless human characters either - in an irritating side plot, three dislikeable wasters (Millie Bobby Brown, Brian Tyree Henry and Julian Dennison) decide to discover why Godzilla's been acting so angsty recently. (Hint: that dodgy French man at the beginning has something to do with it!). Also, I realise that this film requires a significant amount of suspension of disbelief, but the centre of the Earth being hollow? Really? And if it's so far into the centre of the Earth, how is sunlight getting down there? How are all those big green plants photosynthesizing? Rest assured, all your questions will remain unanswered. 

A COVID-19 Must-Watch?: It's rubbish, but it's hard for me to say that you shouldn't watch Godzilla vs. Kong because it's just two hours of mindless, big flashy-bashy noise that doesn't require any thought and is completely removed from any kind of reality. With things in the world being a bit rubbish, who doesn't need that kind of escape right now? 

Comments

  1. Anonymouse20 May 2021 at 08:38

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Mary Queen of Scots' (15)

**** Arriving on the shores of Scotland, Mary Stuart moves to reclaim her title and her position as Queen. A Catholic and with a claim to the throne of England, she immediately poses a threat to Queen Elizabeth, a Protestant and the last of the House of Tudor.  The relationship between Mary Stuart and Elizabeth Tudor is one that has fascinated historians and artists alike for centuries. In a history that's dominated by male sovereigns, Mary and Elizabeth ruled alongside each other until Elizabeth had her cousin executed - surely that means that the two hated each other? In his play which premiered in 1800, Friedrich Schiller portrays Mary's last days, and the fraught relationship between the two women - one that is far from the 'black and white' dynamic that you might expect. Since then, numerous historians have revisited this momentous moment and dissected the connection between the two. One such biography is John Guy's Queen of Scots: The True Life
1 comment
Read more

'Riders of Justice' (15)

  Director:  Anders Thomas Jensen Cast:  Mads Mikkelsen, Nikolaj Lie Kaas, Andrea Heick Gadeberg, Lars Brygmann, Nicholas Bro Where can I watch?:   Riders of Justice  is in cinemas now  Rating:  4/5 Review:  There are some films that defy categorisation. For example, from watching the trailer for Riders of Justice, you might assume it to be some form of action comedy with a healthy dose of violence thrown in for good measure. However, Riders of Justice is actually far more complex than that, tackling themes of masculinity, mental health and even the existential alongside the occasional shoot out and grisly murder. At first, it appears to be about revenge - Mads Mikkelsen (looking particularly brutish) returns from a tour following the death of his wife in rail accident that could well be connected with a violent gang. Or was it all merely coincidence? Uncommunicative and unrelenting in his refusal to undertake therapy, Mikkelsen's Markus represents the archetypal army man - silent,
1 comment
Read more

'Jojo Rabbit' (12A)

***** Stuck at home after injuring himself at a Hitler Youth weekend, Jojo discovers that his mother is hiding a Jewish girl in their house. The words 'comedy' and 'Nazis' are hardly bedfellows, and yet director/screenwriter Taika Waititi has somehow created a film that features both. Without doubt, it's a highly controversial movie, with Joker levels of division already popping up across the internet - even I have to admit that laughing at the opening montage in which a young boy practises his 'Heil, Hitler' felt quite uncomfortable - but I'd argue that this charming little oddity is probably the film we all need right now. Cards on the table - the film never laughs at the atrocities the Nazis committed. In fact, we see the world through Jojo's (delightful newcomer Roman Griffin Davis) eyes - a crazy, confusing place that's made all the more bizarre by the presence of his imaginary friend, Adolf Hitler (Taika Waititi). Dubbed
15 comments
Read more