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'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies' (12A)



***

Having staked their claim on the treasure hidden within the Lonely Mountain, Biblo and the Dwarves, led by an increasingly volatile Thorin, watch on as armies of Men, Elves, Orcs, Goblins gather outside their front door, all vying for a piece of the gold.

Sigh.

I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. After the mess of the second part of the trilogy, I felt sure that Jackson would be able to redeem himself with this conclusion, but I have been proved wrong. Where to begin? Well, how about the complete lack of plot!? I have read some reviews of Mockingjay: Part 1 that accuse the film of being without direction and story, but compared to Battle of the Five Armies, Mockingjay looks like an excellently crafted Dickensian novel. In all honesty, the plot for the final Hobbit film can be summarised thus: there’s a big fight. Fight scenes can be exciting, I don’t deny it, but after you’ve seen one army smash into another, you’ve essentially seen them all, so the repetition of multiple armies coming together becomes somewhat dull.  

Having all but abandoned the source material, Jackson and his script-writers are left to create their own dialogue, some of which is so clunky and cringe-worthy I almost laughed out loud. The inclusion of a brief comment by Legolas about his lost mother, mentioned again by Thranduil come the end of the film, is clumsy and wholly unnecessary. Even when they stick to the book, the decision was made to veer from the original speeches and heartfelt comments and create different passages. I looked on horrified as one of the pivotal monologues from the book was neglected. Other things that frustrated me included the completely irrelevant love-triangle, a wholly unremarkable score, Billy Connolly turning up on a pig, the rather shoddy graphics, and the complete lack of hobbit. Indeed, the film should have been called Thorin and Bard as Bilbo features so little that I almost forgot he was in it! The majority of the dwarves have even less to do than in the first two films, and I feel that a little more character development could have saved the film from endless fight scenes and last-minute saves.

So, why three stars? Well, I cannot fully dismiss the film entirely as it isn’t a bad film, as such; it’s just not a Hobbit film. Despite such a plethora of problems, the film is not completely without merit: I have enjoyed the development of the Bard (Luke Evans) character (although his story is wholly washed over come the conclusion), and I thought the inclusion of Sauron was well done. Freeman does his best with some truly clunky dialogue and in truth I can see why Jackson waited for him to become available, as it is impossible to imagine anyone else in the role. It is, however, Richard Armitage who steals the show as Thorin; his descent into madness is interesting, well-realised and certainly adds some extra depth to what is, essentially, a 2-hour fight sequence. Unlike the rest of the cast, Armitage is gifted with a fairly decent script, and his character arc throughout this instalment is definitely the most engaging aspect.

The first Hobbit film was the best out of the trilogy for me: it vaguely resembled the book; the eponymous hobbit actually featured; and there was a clear beginning, middle and end. Yes, it was flawed, certainly, but it still had heart. I was moved by what was happening on screen, I felt for the characters and I was pleased to be back in Middle Earth again. However, having suffered through The Desolation of Smaug and now having tolerated the final film, I feel somewhat relieved to know that it’s all over. Just keep Jackson away from The Silmarillion

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